In my marriage, my husband and I share everything. We share thoughts, finances, food (well, he shares his food), and more. Before marriage, I only had to worry about myself. I got paid? Time to treat myself. I was struggling with my mental health? I would figure it out eventually, no need to share with anyone. But now, I am called to be a helpmate (Genesis 2:1). My life is no longer about me. And that has been a hard pill to swallow.
We live in a very selfish culture. Putting aside our wants and even our needs in order to accommodate our spouse is not encouraged or promoted. In fact, our culture has taken biblical principles and made them into oppressive narratives. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe that God is okay with your spouse emotionally, physically, financially, mentally, or spiritually abusing you. You are a daughter of the King and, biblically, you are to be treated as such. However, despite what Instagram says, marriage and life are not about what you can get out of them. Instead, they are about what you can give.
I will probably be learning this lesson for a while, as I have years of selfish habits to break. But marriage has shown me that in order to love someone fully, you must be willing to put your self aside. Love is not convenient. Love is not self-seeking (1 Cor. 13:5). And pure, sinless love is only given by God.
I have much to learn, but I am very grateful for what God has already taught me through marriage and the grace that He has taught me with. My husband and I are not perfect— at all. But we serve a perfect God in our individual hearts and in our life together. And it is through this relationship with Christ that I am learning how beautiful love can be.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic
