Keeping your heart clean of bitterness is one of the best investments in your marriage that you can make!
Recently, in the Bible Study Fellowship group my son and I are a part of, we studied the crucifixion. It was such a blessing to share this study together. One of the things I told him was that if Satan can’t get you tripped up with your own sin, then he will try to tangle you up in the sin others do to you. And sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s a “little” sin like someone looked at you wrong and said something unkind or a truly egregious, harmful act. Between the efforts of the enemy and our own nature, we can get deeply tangled up and hurt by others’ sins. We talked about how Christ’s death was enough to pay for our sins, but also all the sins of everyone else. Christ’s death on the cross was so graphic and (in child terms) ugly that now there’s no sin too big or ugly (or even against us) that Jesus didn’t pay for. That doesn’t mean we are automatically reconciled to everyone who has hurt us. It just means we don’t need to live in that pain they caused us. We can place it under the cross, next to all our sins, and move forward in hope, freedom, and grace. That’s where sin belongs – under the shed blood of Jesus. He did all that for us so we could live beyond the shackles of sin.
In family life, grace needs to flow in and out, sort of like breathing. We bump into each other in all sorts of ways, and grace and forgiveness are tools the Christian family has at their disposal. We need to use that gift Jesus died to give us! We need to take that grace deep into our hearts and also readily give it as well.
When schedules are packed, money is tight, and that sense of connectivity between you and your spouse is thin, safeguard your marriage by regularly checking in with your heart to ensure it is clear of unforgiveness. Ask God to help you forgive your mate just as He forgave you. Ask the Lord to help you see your spouse as He sees them. When I practice checking my heart for lingering unforgiveness and then repent of it, the joy in my family life is always fuller!
But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NASB
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