You should never be put in a position to assert your value or worth. That is your spouse’s job. In your marriage vows, you vowed to love, honor, and cherish one another. This is especially important when it comes to your spouse’s parents. It is irrelevant whether they are older than you or not. It is most important that they treat you with respect. Ask your spouse to speak to them about you on your behalf. Ask your spouse to set a boundary regarding your communication and interactions with one another.
Not only is this important for your spouse, but it is also an important example for your children. Children live what they learn. If they see you loving each other and putting each other first, they will grow up to do the same. When you got married, you left your father and mother to unite as one. Your new family should take precedence over your relatives. You should not tolerate abuse, and neither should your spouse. If your spouse is not willing to defend you on your behalf, then there’s an issue in the marriage that needs to be resolved. Speak about it candidly and try to resolve it. Seek professional help if necessary.
4. Get to Know Them
In this technological world, we have lost the fine art of communication. Sometimes parents just want to be heard, and they want their stories to be told so their emotional needs are known and seen. Take time while you’re with them to ask them a bit more about their story. Ask them how they got married, what it was like to have their first child, their relationship with their in-laws, etc. It will help ease the tension when you demonstrate that you value them as a cherished part of your spouse’s life, and ease their awkwardness of not being able to parent their child anymore. You may learn a thing or two that you didn’t know before, gain more insight into your spouse, and foster intimacy and deeper communication.
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