A third way a narcissist abuses your kindness is by gaslighting you. Gaslighting is “the intentional act of making you distrust your views of reality or believe that you’re mentally unstable.” Narcissists will abuse your kindness in the form of gaslighting to make you question yourself and to cause you to distrust your own views of reality.
Kind, good-hearted people intentionally choose to be kind, but what if a narcissist can gaslight you over and over, convincing you that you aren’t those things? Thus, you must owe that person more of your time, resources, love, etc. Because of extending kindness, narcissists can easily gaslight us into believing lies about ourselves, others, and the world.
As Christians, we do not need to let narcissists abuse our kindness. While it is important to be kind to all people, we must remember God never called us to be in abusive relationships.
4. Lacks Empathy
A fourth way a narcissist abuses your kindness is by their lack of empathy. In your kindness, you most likely have shown care, compassion, and love to the individual only for the narcissist to return your kindness with a lack of empathy. Narcissists do not give in relationships—they would rather take what they want from the relationship for their own personal means. If you have been there for them on a bad day, sacrificing your own routine and needs, don’t expect the favor to be reciprocated when it’s your turn to have a bad day.
A lack of empathy is not a good trait for anyone to have in their life nor is it a good trait in a friend. Narcissists tend to have a lack of empathy in their lives, which causes the non-narcissistic individual to feel more isolated and alone.
5. Plays the Silent Treatment
A fifth way a narcissist abuses your kindness is by implementing the silent treatment. As most of us know, the silent treatment is the worst. Having the silent treatment placed over your head is worse than having an argument. In exchange for your kindness, it can be common for a narcissist to give you the silent treatment if they didn’t get exactly what they wanted from you.
When someone gives you the silent treatment even though you were kind to them, it can be quite confusing. Why? Because narcissists don’t operate within healthy communication strategies. If you have been given the silent treatment by a narcissist even though you were kind, don’t take it personally. You have done nothing wrong. The problem is the narcissist who is abusing you and your kindness wants you to continuously reach out to them, making them your top priority.
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